A Commencement Speech For Us

Sharing a few words many of us might need.

A few hours ago, in a moment both momentous and fleeting, I stood in a room filled with the beautifully bright promise of tomorrow. I found myself on a stage, facing a sea of eager, bright young faces, radiant with the fluorescence of their futures. It was the first graduating class of ATech High School in Brooklyn, and I had been gifted the task of offering them the last bits of wisdom before they dive headlong into their destinies.

Writing a commencement speech can be a winding journey. I had to ask myself: when I was in those same plastic, temporary chairs, wearing that cap of achievement, my tassel swaying like a pendulum measuring the moments until adulthood, what is it that I needed to hear? What could I offer that might echo in their minds long after the applause subsides into the silence of new beginnings?

The answer I landed on was not groundbreaking, nor was it a revelation. But it was true. It was something that I wish I had heard, not just at my high school graduation, but at college, at graduate school, and during every peak and valley since.

Now, I wish to extend these words to you, my dear friends. Because the truth is, we are all forever graduating, forever on the cusp of the unfamiliar and the new, forever finding ourselves at the precipice of vast unknowns. And perhaps, in this moment, or a future one, you’ll find yourself in need of these words as much as I often do.

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Good afternoon, esteemed faculty, proud parents, honored guests, and most importantly, the exceptional first graduating senior class from ATech High School.

Today, we gather to celebrate an extraordinary milestone, a momentous day that marks not just the culmination of your high school years, but the exciting beginnings of the journey that lies ahead. This is not an ending, but a commencement – a word which itself means a beginning or start. You stand on the threshold of the rest of your lives, the ink of your narratives ready to fill the pages of the world.

Thanks to the leadership of Dr. Neil Harris, the entire staff, the parents, and of course, the student body, ATech has risen to become a beacon of progress and innovation, not only within its vibrant Brooklyn community, but also in the broader educational landscape of New York City and New York state.

My dear friend, and ATech educator, LaMar Timmons-Long, explained to me that at ATech love is at the root of everything the school stands for. But he said, love isn't just a word you all throw around. It's a philosophy, the bedrock upon which you construct your relationships, lessons, community, and culture.

And so, I want to offer all of you some of that same love, by letting you know a few things I wish I would have known when I was graduating a thousand years ago.

To do that, I want you to imagine there's a caterpillar that's been crawling around for most of its life, fully content with its existence. Actually, it’s extremely happy, the caterpillar loves being able to crawl around. One day the caterpillar meets a butterfly, and the butterfly asks, "When are you going to finally get your wings?" The caterpillar is baffled, because it doesn’t know that it’s supposed to eventually turn into something else. It’s always been happy being a caterpillar.

The butterfly explains that the caterpillar transforms eventually into a butterfly, and then tells it how much better it is to be a butterfly, before eventually flying off. The caterpillar’s mind begins to race, and instead of continuing to happily crawl around, it spends the next few weeks sitting in the same place, obsessed with the idea that it’s supposed to be something else. Something “better” than a caterpillar. Waiting to become a butterfly.

Eventually, a cocoon forms around the caterpillar and the butterfly comes back to wait for it to rise from the cocoon and congratulate it on becoming a fellow butterfly. The cocoon opens and the former caterpillar flys out as something else, something new, something different. The butterfly looks at the former caterpillar in shock, and says, “What happened? What went wrong?”

The former caterpillar asks, “What do you mean? I’m a butterfly now, too!”

The butterfly says, “No you’re not. You’re something else.”

You see, neither of them knew that not every caterpillar is meant to become a butterfly, some become moths.

The butterfly then says, “Well, at least you can fly now!”

The moth looks down at a group of caterpillars crawling by below and replies, “Yeah, I guess. But I don’t really care about flying, I wish I could still crawl.”

I tell you this story to illustrate two different points.

First, the caterpillar and butterfly demonstrate the importance of you deciding what’s best for YOU. In trying to be like others, we lose sight of the things that make us … US. The things that make us unique. I believe this point has never been more important than in the age of the digital world. An era when instead of looking in the mirror trying to find who we want to be or become, many of us we are instead looking at our phones, swiping through profiles. Letting the existence of others steal the beauty of being ourselves.

Second, I use this story to point out how lucky we all are. Because we are not caterpillars, nor are are we butterflies, or moths. In this life, you get to be all of the above — or none of them. That’s up to you.

I stand here as a butterfly, trying to enlighten you about parts of the transformation. But I'm also a caterpillar, still learning, understanding, and growing. And what I have learned as both, is that the journey you’re about to take is as frightening as it is amazing, filled with the promise of endless possibilities and the power to change the world.

The story of your life, from its very first word to its last, is yours to write. Despite what some may tell you, life isn't a rigid timeline that pushes you along its path, but rather a blank page waiting for you to say what happens. You can pause to catch your breath when you need to, change the narrative when it no longer serves you, or remain focused on your current chapter until you are ready for the next. The pages of your tomorrow are uncharted territory, waiting for your imagination and effort to fill them. And the beauty of it is, there are no rules, no set formulas.

Anything can happen, and I firmly believe you are prepared for anything. This graduating class is not just any class. You are vibrant, energetic, tenacious, and simply remarkable in every sense of the word. Each one of you has shown resilience, ambition, and an insatiable thirst for knowledge that sets you apart. You have faced things that I can’t even imagine. You have risen despite unprecedented obstacles such as pandemics, political failures, and tense social division.

Your generation has already turned the world upside down, challenged conventions, to redefined norms. I expect you all to continue doing nothing less.

This life will be what you make of it. It will echo your actions, your choices, and your decisions. But remember, as you write your masterpiece, strive for excellence. Strive for a life that resonates with purpose, a life that leaves a mark, not just on your pages, but on the pages of those around you as well.

But while you’re doing so, remember, this is not a race against the clock, it’s a journey to savor, every step of the way. And I hope your journey is sprinkled with moments that take your breath away, sights that make your eyes sparkle with wonder, and experiences that leave imprints on your heart. I hope all of you to have emotions you've never felt before, so strong that they change the very fabric of who you are.

I hope you to continue not being afraid to challenge the status quo, to broaden your horizons, and to open your mind to the unfamiliar. I hope you encounter people whose perspectives differ wildly from your own, because it is through these interactions that we learn the most about ourselves and the world around us.

I hope you all live a life that you can look back on with pride, a life full of meaningful relationships, overcoming challenges, making mistakes, fixing mistakes, and seizing opportunities. Let your life be a testament to your perseverance, your determination, and your passions.

And if you ever find yourself realizing that the life you've been living doesn't fill you with pride, that it isn't the one you dreamt of, I hope you have the courage to change that. Because you’ll never need more courage than when you decide to start over, which I know because I’ve done it more times than I can say — and I’m better for each time that I did.

You are brimming with that courage. I’m sure of it. I see it in each your eyes.

As you leave your school’s halls and step into the world, remember that the power to shape your destiny lies within you. You have the freedom, the courage, and the strength to build a life you are proud of, a life that is uniquely your own.

Again, this day marks not an end but a beginning. It is the day you venture forth, empowered by your experiences at ATech, emboldened by the dedication and knowledge that has guided your journey here, ready to create, innovate, inspire, and lead. It's the day the world gets a little brighter, a little smarter, and a lot more hopeful.

I am incredibly proud of each and every one of you. Remember the ATech love that brought you to this day. Carry it with you, and let it guide you as you continue your journey.

You are the embodiment of a generation's spirit and a representation of the best of us. No matter where you go or what you do, you will always be a part of ATech's story, and ATech will always be a part of yours.

Congratulations, ATech graduating class of 2023, today is your day. Go forth knowing the world doesn’t define you — you define the world.

Thank you.